Recovery

When you get into a problem like I did, self harm or anorexia you tell yourself that you won´t drown and you will be able to keep swimming, that you will be able to control yourself....it is never like that my dear. You slowly lose all your strenght and drown without even noticing that you are under the water.

I never ever wanted to speak about these things again, but I thought that it would be a pretty good idea to write an article about self harm and anorexia when I finally overcame it. Because all the articles related to self harm were just black or white stains in the journey, just promises I kept making and always broke.

I won´t talk about how do you do the things because that would just take you down. I won´t talk about why you do it either because some people.....actually I will talk about why do people do it because some think it is some kind of fun, just because they don´t apreciate life and want to destroy themselves and mostly what I heared from my parents was that I wanted to kill myself. NO....none of these. So first of all if people do it and you tell them that they don´t apreciate what they have, that they don´t apreciate life, the truth actually is that they just don´t see anything good in what they have left. And if self harmers wanted to kill themselves they would have already done it. If they still live they hope that there is somebody out there who would save the situation they are in. And please..it is not about what it looks like.....self harmers don´t care what it looks like. I heared some people saying that it looks grose and disgusting. It ain´t about what it looks like. And if anybody knows about their self harm then it IS for attention. Attention from the right people. And here we come to the way how to fight against the voices in our head.

I wanna finally tell you how you fight against this. First you find a really good reason. And then what helped me is finding somebody who will care about you, ask you what is wrong and bild you up. Somebody that will tell you that it is going to be alright and you needn´t worry. Somebody who would give you an apple and watch you eat it. A true friend. Because in this fight against these monsters the biggest weapons are strenght, hope and friendship. The days you didn´t fall down, the days which meant that you made it through that day even if you grabbed a sharp object, you thought about why you want to stop and you put it down are the small victories you had which were small steps to winning the war against yourself. Do not ever do such stupid things because I know that you are better than that razer.

Someday I'm finally gonna let go 'Cause I know there's a better way And I wanna know what's over that rainbow I'm gonna get out of here someday.

This song has a whole another meaning in the context the original author uses it. But I am going to relate it to this article.

Someday I'm finally gonna let go

This means that there will come a day when alll those things you did and created your problems are gonna be behind you.

' I know there's a betCauseter way

There is another way to conquer those problems.

And I wanna know what's over that rainbow

You want to know and live that great life again like before.

I'm gonna get out of here someday.

You want to fight against it and win the battle.

Don´t you ever dare give up on anything, because it is never too late to start fighting even if it is your worst nightmare. Don´t lose hope. Fight like you are the chosen one to save the world. The world of your own.

#selfharm #recovery #lifegetsbetter